As the sun sets on 2015, it’s time to contemplate the year that’s been and set out intentions for the year that is coming. For some this has been a wonderful, expansive year…and for others it followed the challenges that were set out in 2014.
For me, this year was both beautiful and painful. It was a year where a lot of old, worn in patterns were brought to the surface in order to be released. Many beliefs and patterns that I was holding on to, had to be torn down in order for new, healthier patterns to take their place. I learned a lot this year, and one of the most powerful things I learned was that hearts heal, people move on, and change is inevitable.
Letting go of the year that was
People talk about letting go, but it’s not an easy concept to practice. As human beings we are filled with desires, wants, needs and we have a plan in mind about how these should play out. Letting go requires a trust in a Higher Power that can be difficult to have in the times when our world seems chaotic.
When everything is falling apart, the last thing we feel like doing is surrendering. This year, I learned the meaning of the word surrender. Instead of efforting after a relationship that had far outlived it’s potential, instead of pushing for something that I thought would bring me happiness…I learned to let go of the outcome and focus instead on the desired feeling, surrendering the hows, whats and whens to the Universe.
This meant I had to allow some relationships to drift out of my life, as much as I wanted otherwise. I realised that people grow and change, and they drift apart. This doesn’t undermine the value they brought to your life, the connection of two souls will always exist, but the physical presence is no longer required. I saw many friendships and loves change over the course of the year, as I changed and transformed. Instead of trying to hold on to this relationships, I trusted that the ones which were meant to stay would, and surrendered the outcome of which ones they would be.
In doing so, certain relationships strengthened beyond compare, and others that I had thought would remain, faded away. It’s okay to grieve the physical loss of these relationships, realising all the while that once we connect two souls together, this connection remains for all eternity – there is no end.
If you are struggling to let go of emotions, people or circumstances in your life here are a couple of useful rituals.
“Thank you” and release meditation
Sit in a quiet space, where you won’t be disturbed for some time. Burn a candle, some incense, whatever helps you to relax and ease into meditation.
Once you are relaxed, bring to mind each person, emotion, or situation that occurred, one at a time. Sit with whatever feelings rise up, without judging them, or yourself. When you feel ready, with each situations name the situation, thank it and then release it.
For example,”X, thank you for the joys, growth and experiences you brought into my life. Whilst I was deeply (describe the feeling, such as hurt, angry, betrayed) when (name the situation that happened) I now, in peace and love, release these feelings and attachments.” Continue on until you have released all of it and are left with a feeling of deep peace.
Phoenix Rising ritual
Another ritual I like using is journaling. Again, find a quiet place and time when you will not be disturbed. Get a fire proof bowl and sit in a safe area where you can safely burn the paper at the end of the ritual. Then, light a candle, burn some incense, do whatever you need to feel peaceful and go into a meditative state. Think about all the things that happened over the year, all the things you want to let go of, whether this is a pattern of behaviour, unhelpful thoughts, people or situations. Write each down, and sit with each of them, allowing whatever feelings you have to come into your present consciousness. Sit with these without judgement.
Then, when you’re ready, take each and burn them in a safe fireproof container, imagining the healing light of the fire burning away all that’s no longer needed and leaving only the fresh, new opportunities behind – like a Phoenix from the ashes.
When we let go of the things not meant for us with grace, we allow our true desires the space to manifest.
Once we’ve released the emotions, people and circumstances that are no longer serving our highest good, we can turn our attention to what we truly desire.
The difference between setting goals, and setting intentions is that goals are intellectual outcomes that may or may not eventuate. The true purpose behind any desired thing, whether this be a career, relationship or even a desired dress size, is because of the way we think having this thing will make us feel.
So, instead of setting goals this year, which can result in feelings of failure if they are not achieved, let’s set intentions. Write down the way you would like to feel this year. For example, if you desire a new relationship, what are the feelings behind this desire? How do you think this relationship will make you feel? Valued, loved, fun, companionship? Then list the types of activities that will result in this feeling, outside of the relationship. When we focus on the feeling and on achieving this feeling, we begin to vibrate at that frequency. Focusing as little as 17 seconds on a feeling, brings about more thoughts that relate to that feeling. So if we keep thinking of how it feels when we’re in those initial stages of love, for example, you will find suddenly more thoughts of love begin to flow and gain momentum.
Likewise, when you begin to focus on the feelings you want from being in a relationship, for example, and engage in activities that bring about those feelings, you will find that the relationship you desire will come. It’s simple law of attraction.
Once you have a list of the way you wish to feel and the activities that bring about this feeling, it’s up to you to engage in those activities and set in motion the desires you have. If you want to feel energised, and playing with you dog makes you feel this way, then make sure you make time for that in your life. Likewise, if you want to feel valued, and helping others makes you feel this way, make sure you make time for volunteer work each week. The more you can feel your way to your desires, the easier you allow them to manifest for you, in the perfect time and perfect way.