…who had big dreams to change the world. That little girl was me, and maybe I wasn’t quite so little. I had just finished high school, and was on the cusp of adulthood. I thought I could do great things in life, and that my place was working in a high rise building saving the world from behind a desk…and that high rise building would be the United Nations Head Quarters, and the desk would be in the building in New York City.
So I studied hard, got into law school and worked a number of jobs to see me through the five year degree. I worked at Legal Aid, a criminal law firm, the Family Court, a family law firm, as well as my local bookstore over those five years. Even though I hated it at the time, I kept telling myself that practicing law would be different from studying law.
When I finally graduated law school and managed to find a job at a corporate law firm, I thought I was made. This would be the start of my journey to transform the world, make real change and do something important. Unfortunately, a year and a half of practice didn’t change my mind about hating legal practice, and I found myself in a career that was in no uncertain terms “soul-destroying”. I followed the usual corporate law credence – work hard, party harder. I was drinking up to ten coffees a day, working some 60 hour weeks and hating every minute of it. To unwind I would come home to a bottle of wine a night, and many more over the weekends. The number of nights I came home with little memory of how I ended up there are more than I care to recount.
Finally, I decided to leave. The job I went to was no better. If law was soul-destroying, the place I ended up was mentally and emotionally damaging. I ended up working as a legal liability adviser in an insurance company settling claims. I found myself exhausted by the mundane paper-pushing and the lack of mental stimulation. The people I worked with her snippy, gossiping and catty and my manager bullied me daily. I was depressed, my relationships were going no where, and I had decided to get buy a house during this time which meant I was stuck because I had a mortgage to pay and no way out.
To escape and find some mental stimulation from the boredom of work, I decided to try out for a number of voluntary board positions. I took up a position with the United Nations Association in WA as a volunteer and volunteered with the local dog refuge. At least I felt like I had a purpose outside of my 9 to 5. I had enough mental space in this mundane role to truly consider where I was going, and what I was passionate about but I was desperate for a way out at the same time. So I made an impulse decision and enrolled in a Master of Science in Sustainability Management and transitioned out of my second career in almost as many years.
Working in environmental advocacy however didn’t seem to fill the hole in my life. In fact, there wasn’t much that was fulfilling for a long time. I felt lost, disconnected and without purpose. I kept thinking there had to be more to life than sitting in an office. As a child I had always been drawn to the spiritual aspects, studying metaphysics, quantum physics and a number of spiritual philosophies, but as I grew older, life chipped away at my faith.
It wasn’t until a couple of year ago when I was faced with one of the most challenging personal relationships, that I finally had to confront my own dark side and begin to heal some of the scars and wounds that life had inflicted over the last 28 years. It was through more than one dark night of the soul that I discovered my true purpose, passion and place in the world as a healer and light worker.
They say heartbreak is the Universe’s (or God, or whatever you wish to call your Higher Power) way of opening your heart to possibilities. Through the darkness I found my own inner guidance, reconnected with my intuition and discovered my ability to heal, not only myself, but others through my experiences. I once told a friend, “We all have scars on our souls, it’s your choice to live with them, or to choose to live beyond them.”
That’s how The Soulful Vagabond came to be – I hope through my experiences I can help you heal and embrace the truly magnificent being that you are and live the expansive, creative, purpose-filled life that you came here to experience.